The lies he served with Cake

He told me he loved me.

That he was lonely.

That he was an orphan.

That he hadn’t known love in a long time.

That he just wanted someone to love him.

Then he dropped it

He’s married.

But not happily, he said.

He made it sound like a sad love story, like he was the victim.

And for a moment, my heart didn’t go to him.

It went to his wife.

I started to wonder about her.

What’s her side of the story?

Is she hurting?

Or is she at home, waiting for him with hope,

thinking he’s bringing her the chocolate cake he promised?

Does she smile when he walks in,

thinking she’s lucky to have a good man

not knowing he’s somewhere else,

flirting with another woman

and tearing her down behind her back?

And if everything he says about her is true,

if she’s as bad as he paints her,

why does he think I’ll be any different?

Does he think I’m the angel he’s been praying for?

They say it’s better to stick with the devil you know,

I’m not calling her a devil, I’m just quoting the line.

I can’t trust a man who puts down his own wife just to lift me up.

So I told him:

No.

I can’t date you, and I won’t marry you.

Because I can’t trust a man who puts down his own wife

just to lift me up.

She may not be perfect,

but I’m not the solution to your broken marriage.

I told him to try and work things out with her.

Figure out what went wrong.

See if it’s fixable.

Because taking another woman every time things get hard

that’s not love, that’s weakness.

After that, he never spoke to me again.

I guess I wasn’t the kind of girl he was looking for

the one who’d feel sorry for him and fall into his arms.

I was too blunt, too real.

But then one day, I posted a picture of my friend on her birthday.

She looked beautiful.

And guess who slid into my messages?

Him.

Asking me if she was single.

Asking if I could “give” her to him since I didn’t want him.

And just like that, everything made sense.

He didn’t want love.

He wanted attention.

He wanted to chase and play games.

And again, my heart went out to his wife.

And to every girl who’s ever believed a man like that.

So I gave him a warning.

Told him not to try it again.

I don’t entertain men who can’t control themselves.

Men without discipline, without shame.

And he replied:

“Be fair to me.

You don’t want me, now you’re refusing me your friend too?”

And I laughed.

Women are not here to fix broken men who keep breaking women.

He said he’s not a happy man.

And I told him

You will never be happy

until you learn how to be loyal.

Until you respect your wife.

Until you stop chasing every pretty face like a lost puppy.

If I were your wife,

I’d be ashamed of the man I married.

Now I understand why your marriage is broken.

I can’t trust a man who puts down his own wife just to lift me up.

no woman can respect a man who doesn’t respect himself.

So I blocked him.

Not just from my phone,

but from my life,

from my peace,

from my story.

Because women are not here to fix broken men

who keep breaking women.

(c)boddobodes

By Aishatu Sali